Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize