my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
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then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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