She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
