hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize