So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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