He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
