Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
