If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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