You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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