You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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