Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
we're so committed to being not committed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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