Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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