Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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