Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
