WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
