quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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