Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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