If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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