I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
