AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
