There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
