I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
