so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
