I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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