We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
