I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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