ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
