All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
