i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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