I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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