walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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