I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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