I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
