I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
