Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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