that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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