Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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