how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
