My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
