She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
