you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
