remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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