Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
