You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
