I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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