so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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