you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize