i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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