you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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