Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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