maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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