A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
