i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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