dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
