My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
