who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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