All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is Oprah even human
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
