More tranny stories later!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
