It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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