Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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