Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
